HELP ME.
SAVE ME.
im dying.
just came back from j8. check out the time now. its only 8+. i shd be sleeping instead. gerry called me at 3am+ to wake me up. but she was nice and decided to let me sleep for another hr. so she called me at 4am+ again. i walked to j8 and reached there at 5. damn funny, i was wearing my home clothes ok. i cldnt be bothered to change. and i didnt bring anything except my hse key, jacket and handphone. i didnt even bring my wallet. by the time i reached there, the que was super long alr. but everyone was sleeping la. and soon i went to sleep. i slept on the bench at the bishan bus interchange. i was like some beggar ok. and it was fucking cold! i was shivering like fuck. i only had one pathetic jacket to wrap myself in. and the bench was rock hard! my head was damn pain. i shd have brought my pillow. anyway it was damndamn cold ok. now i know how a beggar feels. i must study hard and get a gd job to buy a house next time! i wldnt wanna sleep in the streets. anyway, i felt damn sick. it was like winter without snow. i slept until 7. and we went to macs to eat our breakfast. walked home after that. and here i am now. have to leave soon after i charge my cam, charge my md, burn the md-disc and change out of my home clothes. will update later. come and visit me in j8! haha.

yday.
went for mtvasiaawards yday. saw alot of familiar faces. alot. alot of ij-rians too. met gerry at 4 and started queing. que for a short while only la. im such a ben dan. i actually forgot to bring my tickets but luckily i realised it on the bus. so i got off and went back. soon my sister and her friends came to join us. and i met brandon! my bestie. haha what a coincidence. cus his sis is my sis's friend and so they all came together. but after some time, they found out tt their tickets were seated. and ours were standing. so they went off. and sam and xingyang came to join us. finally, they admitted us into the stadium. we were in the middle at first, but we cldnt see anything. reason being im too short. so we went to the back. the view was so much better from the back. but i siting on the floor and sleeping most of the time. alot of boring parts. im outdated. i dont know all the singers. 5566 cheated my feelings again. they come for what can. only give out one stupid award. they didnt even perform. and i came because of them. nehneh. anyway, from where we were standing, we cld see 5566 siting upstairs clearly. haha and sometimes they will wave at us when we're waving at them. and i saw my sunzhong! i miss him. long time no see mr sun. 5566 damn cute leh, they always dance to the music. haha esp renfu. damn cute. ok enough of them. overall, it was quite ok. then, i called my father to fetch us home.

wo hui lai le!! im back! missed me? oh ya..happy valentines day!

took a cab home with viven and shangpian from selfawareness camp. shangpian paid for the cab fare. thxxxx! so nice. free ride home. haha. anyway, selfawareness camp was great! damn gd experience, can really change u alot. you'll learn to be more aware.

friday.
my dad fetched me to sch. distributed presents. thx for all of ur sweet sweet presents! pei and dan: u still owe me. thx to dong mat tricia ubrina gerry sam jayne vivien cheryl charmaine.k yiwen shangpian charmaine.l naomi jamie zara amanda jessica steph yvette nicole atalia mrerictan and my angel! sorry if i missed out ur names! thx for all the hugs kisses and wishes! really love u all! everyone gave such nice presents! i love the roses! i feel damn cheapo now. i love my angel. so sweeeeeeet! she gave me mentos and a chewy bar. i still dont know who is she! anyway i love you alright. so secretive one. anyway took a bus there. cant rem alot of things la. had sessions. the sharing session was really gd. everyone was damn open. they shared all their personal stuff. everyone cried their hearts out. i cry until my eye damn swollen. look like fish eye. and my nose was fully blocked, cld only breathe thru my mouth. im damn emotional la. haha. i think the whole class finished abt 3 boxes of tissue paper. yes, thats how much everyone cried. anyway i didnt share much, cus i was the second one and i didnt know what to say. anyway i feel damn fortunate after hearing what everyone said. i've realised that i have taken alot of things for granted.
i really treasure every single thing that i have now. im damn grateful to my parents, although they dont know that. im grateful for everything that i have. im grateful for all the friends that i have. im supppper grateful tt i have a nice family although they may be a pain in the ass.(occasionally. ) i regret treating my parents so badly and all. i must learn to appreciate every single thing that they do. actually, ur parents does alot of things for you, just that u dont realise it. if not for my parents, there wont be me. i should stop asking my father to shutup and i shd treat my mother better. i shd go out with her more often, not only when i want things from her. i also value my grandparents alot! i know they be gone one day, and i'll be damn sad. esp my grandmother. shes so cute. and i value my friends alot! seriously, without all of you, i dont know what will happen to me. i realised that there are many pple in my class who have problems, just that we have not realised it until today. we have neglected their feelings and all. i have learnt to be more sensitive towards pple's feelings. sometimes u just hurt them without knowing it. not everyone has a happy life like you have. so we shd spare a thought for them and consider their feelings. think before u say. we should not take things for granted. treasure what u have. appreciate ur family and friends cus you might not know what will ever happen. im so glad that our sch has organised this camp for us, it really has helped us alot. we truly understand each other better now and im sure that our class feels more bonded.

had mass. the songs are so sad. during the peace sign and all i started tearing again. i just feel glad to have friends. oh ya mrerictan is so sweeeet! he bought roses for all of us! he left it on our bed. such a sweet teacher right! thx mrtan. but shdnt u be buying roses for someone else instead? haha. went to holland v for dinner after that. ate at brekos. went back for games. the games are freaky. its some kind of trust walk thing. u have to really trust ur friend in order to complete the obstacle. ya played more games and went to bathe. slept. damn scary. the door just suddenly slammed and the curtains started flying.

today.
had more sessions. cant rem the rest. whos my angellll! i really want to know. haha. going for maa later. dont feel like going. so tired. i think i'll just go see 5566 and go off after that. i just downloaded the pic to my com and i cant stop laughing. i'll upload it soon. ok christian just called. damn funny. he asked abt the 5566 autograph session tmr. he wants to go and get autograph is it? haha.

had cath in the morning. she really cant stop going on abt men having high sex drive. haha. was damn sleeepy during english. kept dozzing off. we spent almost the whole of emaths discussing abt selfawarenesscamp. it sounds fun. went to j8 with mat after sch to buy food for the camp. im not in the food com la. im in cleanliness com. haha im the supervising head of the dormitories leh! haha sounds good. its the easiest job. i can supervise pple. so fun. but actually clealiness is for those useless pple who cant do anything - like me. haha. went home and did the presents thing. its damn ugly. oh ya i went downstairs and plucked all the flowers and leaf i cld find. the condo management is going to catch me soon. whoops. anyway its damn ugly. i just stuffed whatever i cld find inside. then i flew to serangoon to meet gerry and sam. they so kiasu leh! they flagged a cab even before i alighted the bus. haha. fleeww to changiairport. not alot of pple. then sooooon, renfu came out! he became damn gdlooooking! hes damn shuai now. his hair rocks. blue-ish grey. he loooooks good. so sad, i didnt get to see xiezhi and the rest. anyway renfu walk damn fast. he left in private car leh. aiya no money to chase. so wasted. renfu so cute leh! he kept on waving. ok enough. at least i didnt scream much. then took mrt. wanted to go fullerton hotel to wait for him..but, we decided not to go in the end. went to bugis and took bus home from there. i left my cam in sam's bag. sam u better bring tmr okkk! if not i'll kill youuuu.

selfawarenesscamp tmr! misssssss me! hakuna matata - our aim for the camp. and we have to use words like cheecheebombom and urmm. chuga waga? haha retarded. anyway, hope everyone wld be open tmr, if not the camp wldnt work out. yayyyyy. cant wait for camp! sounds damn fun. but no aircon, no hotwater. nvm. i'll survive. at least we can bring our phones. ok byeeeeee. time to pack bag. miss me!

some people are just so ungrateful.
we just learnt abt gratefulness yday
but..nvm.

yay. i finally understand chem. only for this topic la. anywayyyy. i got third highest in class for chineseee. haha i got A2. claps. all the hard work has paid off. now i have more motivation to study for my next chinese test. studying works. not fair. pei didnt study and she got same marks as me. and i got F9 for my last chinese test. cus i didnt study. haha. im improveeed! yay. had physics prac after sch. then pei and dan came to my hse. thx for paying for the cab fare! was supposed to go gym, but we cldnt stop eating. haha. i made for them fishballs! all by myself. im a gd cook ok. after eating, we went to the gym. i ran 2.2 km. haha im so proud of myself. then after 20 mins we were damn tired. so we went to play with some water thing. haha we cldnt stop "peeing". its damn powerful. haha i have gd shooting skills. dan peed the longest. then the best thing happened. haha i caught my sister in action. she was holding her bf's hand near the swimming pool. haha then when i called her name she quickly let go. haha damn funny. then we went up and ate more. next week we better work harder! then my sister and her bf came up. my mother finds him handsome. haha hes ok la. can do. my sister likes malay guys. i think he felt insulted. cus i said his bag looks damn girly. haha. whoops.

i'm sorry for me bugging you
sorry for being such a fool
god knows i've tried but i can't let go
i'm crazy bout you know who
i'm sorry for me needing you
sorry girl that you don't feel it too
i get the point, should be a man about it
i've never been good at that, no no
forgive me for being me
i've tried to let go

i know you got a boyfriend, another man
another guy by your side
someone who hopefully treats you right
but you don't know how much i wish that i was
your boyfriend, that other guy
the only one who's allowed
in your room to lay in your arms at night
now you don't know how much i wish that i was your boyfriend

i'm sorry for me wanting you
sorry for not playing by the rules
but what would you do if you were in my shoes
feeling lost and blue
i'm sorry for me loving you
sorry for being such a fool
god knows i've tried but i can't let go
i'm crazy bout you know who

another man is by your side
i hope he treats you right
i wish i was the only one
to lay in your arms at night
well you can't blame a guy for trying
now what else can i do
and how i wish that my prayers, thoughts and dreams
would become reality

i didnt sleep during lessons again. yay. im starting to pay attention. but missyip complained to mrtan tt me and cheryl talks too much. we dont talk alot what. so weird. i saved money during recess again. gerry gave me my valentines day present - 2 slices of otah bread. so generous right. thx anyway! 80 cents out of the 30 over bucks she won from me. went to duapaiyo with dong after sch. ate at foodcourt. waste my 3.50. oh god im kiam. what happened to me. then me and dong bought our vday presents. i exceeded my budget ok! im super kiam. my budget is damn little anyway. 12.25 dollars for 41 pple. haha im broke ok. better appreciate the present. be grateful. and i wasted money buying a plastic plate for selfawareness camp. cus i dont have any plastic plate at home. anyway going home was malu. the presents were damn heavy. i looked like some ahma carrying the plastic bag. went home and slept. i finally had my afternoon nap.

k alot of pple say they cant hear my blog music. nvm. anyway if u can hear it, its an english song please. its english. not some other language. doesnt sound like english anyway. haha nvm. im so hardworking! i studied my chinese in the lift, walking to the busstop, at the busstop, in the bus, walking to sch and in class. haha tts why i didnt sleep during lessons again. im so proud of myself. second time i nv sleep. congrats kim. anyway chinese was quite ok, as least the compre was do-able. at least i know what they're talking abt. pei : thank me ok. haha. i better pass my chinese ok. if i fail i'll nv study again. anyway, recess was sheeet funny. dong started with the big/small eyes thing. and they started with the boifran! haha and they spoke in purfact ingrish. just like the song boifran. and they cldnt stop singing it - with disgusting actions. laugh until stomach damn pain. i didnt buy food during recess! yay i managed to save money for a day. im saving just for all of u ok. haha. and i finally know how to do my amaths during class for once. cus i had tuition. btw vivien u owe me my burger king ok. not extra fries. mrchan is a sadist. he gave me so much pheeseecs notes to copy! i copied finish alr and my fingers are breaking. numb alr, no feeling. went home for tuition. tuition was sleepy again. i can even doze off while reading the passage aloud. haha. i finally finished downloading all the mvs. took more than 24hrs to finish downloading all. i have all the nicenice mvs now. haha if u want tell me alright. i'll send it to u. damn niceee. u can just melt on the spot after seeing their mvs. they dress so much better now. i think they did something abt it after all the insulting from the media. they wear such charming clothes! the boyfriend mv is damn nice. shouhou also nice. yay tmr going duapaiyo. go figure out whats tt.

can my blog music be heard?

water boys is such a retarded show. haha.
yay. self-awareness camp this friday.
just the right time for class bonding.
so sexciting.

didnt go for post con + mass. i thought there was bible sharing today. cheat my feelings. but there wasnt any biblesharing. i hate bible sharing. im selfish, i dont like to share. haha. anyway, my family went for breakfast without me. they abandoned me. had tuition in the afternoon. like finally. after how long alr. my brain is rusty, cant really do any maths. anyway halfway thru tuition, bestfriend called me and asked me to go to serangoon stadium. im sucha wonderful bestfriend right. i went there. haha. i took a bus there after tuition. damn funny. while walking towards the stadium, one guy asked if he cld be my friend. haha am i supposed to say yes? anyway, met the rest there. they were running while i was siting there watching them run. my bestfriend runs damn fast. i went there just to give him my support ok! haha. im sucha nice bestfriend, cant stand it. haha. ok enough of my shit. went cycling. haha karina is damn funny. damn fun to ride bicycle leh. i dont know how many donkey yrs nv ride bicycle alr. berdict is so haha. "continue at thy own risk" haha. then went back to studying. i took like more than half an hour to learn a simple chinese word. anyway, rushed home to watch unbeatables. its damn niceeeeee. omg, my luoshenfeng!!! haha i miss him! hes so manly and such a gentleman! tts my man. long time nv see him alr! i love his hair. aiya everything abt him is just perfect. i love unbeatablesss. my favourite show! im so glad tt channel 8 is repeating the show. shit la i missed last week episode. and they show 3 episodes at a time! damn nice. the way they gamble is damn nice. i love the luminous cards and dice! i want also! oh ya yanxing is quite cute. but shenfeng is better. i shall ask shenfeng to teach me how to gamble too. next time i'll invite all of u to my casino in lasvegas ok? aiya tmr got chinese test. die la im taking damn long to study. i cant even complete half of it. 92 words leh. mad. nvm la just fail again. whats new. im used to it anyway. back to sch tmr. have to starve for the weeeeek. so that i can buy for all of u cheapo presents! haha be glad.